Love this one, Mark! It’s amazing how many poems us haiku poets can get out of the combination of a frog, a pond, and a splash. (I’m sure Bashō would be delighted too)
I love the the way you structured these lines with the dash. I also love the frog’s surprise in contrast with the old pond. Your cutting phrase is delightful! I’m fond of cutting phrases in haiku that work like a twist ending in a short story.
I do love trying to come up with variations on that poem, but I wonder whether, after all this time, it's even possible to write one that has never been written before.
I write a haiku and a 55-word microfiction story every day, and I've noticed how the two forms tend to blend sometimes: a haiku with a twist at the end, and a microfiction story that requires the reader to fill in the empty space.
True story! I was hiking around where some friends had told me there's a vortex, a meeting of energies. I'm not sure I believe in such things, but I thought it would be fun to find out! I wandered for a long time with no indication of where to go (my friend's directions were... incomplete) until I saw a robin who seemed to be waiting for me, then flying ahead, waiting, flying. I saw a sign where there was none! But it made for an interesting afternoon! 😅
old pond —
the frog's surprise
at a splash
Love this one, Mark! It’s amazing how many poems us haiku poets can get out of the combination of a frog, a pond, and a splash. (I’m sure Bashō would be delighted too)
I love the the way you structured these lines with the dash. I also love the frog’s surprise in contrast with the old pond. Your cutting phrase is delightful! I’m fond of cutting phrases in haiku that work like a twist ending in a short story.
You packed so much in these lines!
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Jason.
I do love trying to come up with variations on that poem, but I wonder whether, after all this time, it's even possible to write one that has never been written before.
I write a haiku and a 55-word microfiction story every day, and I've noticed how the two forms tend to blend sometimes: a haiku with a twist at the end, and a microfiction story that requires the reader to fill in the empty space.
Robin leads me onward,
branch to branch along the trail.
I follow in vain.
True story! I was hiking around where some friends had told me there's a vortex, a meeting of energies. I'm not sure I believe in such things, but I thought it would be fun to find out! I wandered for a long time with no indication of where to go (my friend's directions were... incomplete) until I saw a robin who seemed to be waiting for me, then flying ahead, waiting, flying. I saw a sign where there was none! But it made for an interesting afternoon! 😅