Striving to hide from loneliness
When do you feel most alone?
When life starts to pull apart at the seams, I tend to work rapidly to stitch everything back together. I’m rather proud of my ability to put my head down and troubleshoot in a crisis.
However, most of the time I fail to ask if the garment that continues to rend while I struggle to keep it patched together is worth saving.
There is a hollowness to all of my striving. What am I working towards? What does a manic flurry of activity get me?
I fear the answer to both questions is nothing.
Yet, I know that as empty and lonely as I feel now, a new flurry of activity will soon come and sweep me away again and I will gleefully return to my work holding things together, keeping entropy at bay another day.
Life is a Sisyphean cycle. Perhaps the point isn’t in breaking the pattern, but in embracing the different seasons in the cycle.
Be the weird you want to see in the world!