When life starts to pull apart at the seams, I tend to work rapidly to stitch everything back together. I’m rather proud of my ability to put my head down and troubleshoot in a crisis.
However, most of the time I fail to ask if the garment that continues to rend while I struggle to keep it patched together is worth saving.
There is a hollowness to all of my striving. What am I working towards? What does a manic flurry of activity get me?
I fear the answer to both questions is nothing.
Yet, I know that as empty and lonely as I feel now, a new flurry of activity will soon come and sweep me away again and I will gleefully return to my work holding things together, keeping entropy at bay another day.
Life is a Sisyphean cycle. Perhaps the point isn’t in breaking the pattern, but in embracing the different seasons in the cycle.
Be the weird you want to see in the world!
Cheers,
Jason
Yes! A fellow on one of the groups I belong to on Insight Timer is fond of saying, "Acceptance is bliss." The reality here is that the only thing constant is change. Hence the cycles. We go through these not only on a longer time scale, but also day by day and, if we really pay attention, we realize minute by minute as well.
On the note of loneliness, it's funny: I'm never lonely when I'm alone, but I sure can be lonely in a crowd. I love my own company. I enjoy the company of friends. I often feel awkward and out of place in a crowd, though I've become adept at navigating through this and giving the impression I'm comfortable and having a good time.
Ditto, you two - same here. Beautiful work, Jason.