25 Comments
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Gloria Horton-Young's avatar

Your haiku paints a vivid, cosmic picture using just a few words. It personifies Jupiter as lonely, maybe highlighting its distance and isolation out in space. Describing it as "sparking below god's toenail" adds a touch of whimsy and imagination, likening a distant celestial glow to something tiny and overlooked, like a spark under a giant’s toenail.

The mention of "sunset's afterglow" ties it back to Earth, connecting the vastness of space with the familiarity of a sunset. It's a beautiful blend of the grand and the intimate, all captured in a brief moment.

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Jason McBride's avatar

Thank you for your careful reading! It's quite fulfilling and affirming to read your analysis and see unpack all that I tried to put into those lines.

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Stanley Wotring's avatar

Thank you for the detailed description of your process. It was very informative.

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Jason McBride's avatar

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I will keep doing it for a while

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John Coon's avatar

I really enjoyed the imagery of Jupiter in this poem. Well done!

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Jason McBride's avatar

Thanks, John!

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April Whalley's avatar

Loved hearing about the creative process too, thanks Jason.

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Jason McBride's avatar

Thank you!

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Priya Iyer's avatar

Jupiter is in astrological news currently and when I read your post, I imagined an artwork with your comic and all the headlines. Thank you, Jason, a little poetry brings out life’s beauty.

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Jason McBride's avatar

Thank you for being such a faithful reader!

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Liz Gauffreau's avatar

Keep that creative process coming!!

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Jason McBride's avatar

You got it!

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Richbee's avatar

Comic-osmotic satellites spark reflective light to see you are a beacon beam of delight.

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Jason McBride's avatar

Thanks!

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Pamela's avatar

Oh so good….. 🙏🏼 sparking - it speaks to me on a personal level as my youngest son’s nickname since a young age - Sparky. He was a born comedian and miss his calling! He still lights up a room when he walks through the door! I have shortened his nickname to Spark ⚡️ as it is still there …..

Spark, Sparky …. Sparking ☀️

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Jason McBride's avatar

Sparky is a great nickname! That's what Charles Shultz, the creator of Snoopy and Charlie Brown always went by.

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Pamela's avatar

I had no idea! I knew of a baseball coach (maybe 2) but did not know about Shultz! Thanks for that tidbit- he did not like it as a kid but he is fine with it now - no idea why but few kids called him Butch 🤷🏻‍♂️

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Jason McBride's avatar

Butch is also a terrific nickname!

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Pamela's avatar

Then if he were playing for Sparky Anderson he would be batting 1000 😂

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Berkana's avatar

It's good to know how you observe the sky like that

I see myself doing this all the time

but I'm still going to spend more time with each word chosen for the Haikus like you do

my inspiration ✨

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Jason McBride's avatar

Thank you, Berkana!

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Patris's avatar

What a perfect class in the dance of word choice in writing. Wonderful. And again, sending this to my young writers in training. Thank you so much!

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Jason McBride's avatar

Thanks for your kind words! I look forward to reading some of the work your young writers create someday!

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Patris's avatar

I’m going to check with younger fellow- the older (equally adored) will likely give me the eye roll 😊

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Brian Funke's avatar

This one is really beautiful!

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