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Raphy Mendoza's avatar

When I was at school, I would often be sent to the head of year for a reprimand. These interactions would go something like this:

Mr. P: "Why are you here? Again."

Me: "I don't know. Again."

Mr. P: "Ms. L told me *the rule I broke like having the wrong uniform, or emailing my homework instead of writing it in my book, or my book was wet from the rain...* happened."

Me: "Correct. Can you explain why that means I have to be here? I have course work to do."

Mr. P: *exasperated* "No. It's ok. Let's go to the library and if anyone asks you're in detention."

Me: "But I'm going to the library anyway, and I shouldn't be in detention."

Mr. P: "Just. Be quiet."

On hindsight, I can see my teachers were trying to get me to be less sloppy, and more professional. At the time, the rules felt stupid and contributed nothing to my learning (and I argued my point eloquently), and I failed to see the nuances of what the rules were for. I still fail to see this sort of thing in adult life, but I've learned to pick my battles.

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Jason McBride's avatar

Picking battles is important. I also think that teachers often forget to explain the whys to students.

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Raphy Mendoza's avatar

Forgetting to explain the ‘why’ plays a part for sure. But also even if they did, I might have still thought it was stupid because of ‘latency effect’.

There isn’t a direct feedback resulting from an untucked shirt, other than the artificial punishment of being sent to the head of year’s office.

It’s only as an adult when you realise the importance of how you come across in a setting when you’re trying to be taken seriously that this sort of thing is relevant.

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Amie McGraham's avatar

I’ve often believed true creativity hinges on humility, but never thought of empathy playing a role. Thanks for the reframe.

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Jason McBride's avatar

I wonder if humility and empathy are not connected in some deep way.

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Raphy Mendoza's avatar

It’s hard to empathise when you’re being arrogant. It takes humility to put your own lens aside and consider that your reality isn’t the absolute truth.

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Jason McBride's avatar

That's a great point. I know a lot of people who think their reality is the absolute truth, and they are the most unpleasant sort to spend any time with.

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Raphy Mendoza's avatar

For sure it's infuriating. And we all fall in that trap to lesser or greater degree at numerous points in life, for sure!

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