Love this! I used to be against quitting, but quitting my dreadful first marriage and feeling like I could breathe again opened my eyes. Quitting my portrait photography biz when I finally admitted my heart wasn't in it took away a load of stress. I convinced my husband to quit his awful job to join me on a long-term travel adventure. He fought it, but now he thanks me every day. Quitting is a great form of self care!
"The jazz band has a different director than the freshman band, and the jazz band leader is a shouter."
My Lord, get him out of there. Bless him for knowing he doesn't want to deal with that. I just have zero time for that whole Whiplash nonsense. He still plays in the other band and you can encourage him to learn some Louis Armstrong solos and he'll know all the jazz he needs for now. :)
We love to nerd out together watching and listening to trumpet performance clips online, it's so incredible how Louis Armstrong's choices still hold up as revolutionary all these generations later!
Great post here Jason! I resonate with the don't quit mentality and yet if I didn't recognize the "dig my heels in and keep going" I would probably not be here today. Quitting can get a bad reputation. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for reading and sharing! I sometimes wonder if we make the stakes around quitting too big. So often we really can try again if we regret quitting.
"The only thing worse than quitting something too soon is sticking with something too long." YESSS!!! I've quit many jobs in my lifetime, but not before I suffered at them for months longer than I needed to. For me there's also a tremendous amount of guilt around quitting. I hate to let people down, or leave people in a lurch, but I need to constantly remind myself that part of an employer's job is dealing with people quitting. It's not my job to take on the stress of that piece of things. I'm only required to give adequate notice. End of story!
It's hard with parenting because there are things I absolutely REGRET quitting, like piano lessons. I quit before I got REALLY good, so now I'm just mediocre at something I could have been great at and really enjoyed being great at as an adult. There's a difference between something being challenging and inconvenient (like practicing an instrument) and something being damaging to your health. It's tricky to find the line between them, I think. We just have to do our best with that, I suppose. 🙂
Parenting is tricky because I want my kids to learn that excellence takes time and effort. Learning the difference between discomfort and pain that is damaging is the work of a lifetime. I also regret quitting instruments too soon (trumpet, and violin), but I'm currently having my oldest who is a brilliant piano player teach me to play the one instrument I aways waned to try, but could never convince my parents to let me play.
Quitting ASAP alleviates so much stress in life. Letting go of attachment feels like a relief. A few times I had to get up and walk out of a restaurant before ordering because I got a bad vibe and after doing that I got over caring about how I looked and you know what? I haven't had a bad dining experience since I made it a habit to follow my gut when ordering out.
I've never regretted my gut decisions either, Panama. Our guts are there for a reason - to keep us on the right path. I've absolutely bailed on restaurants, too! And retail stores where the staff was just unpleasant enough to make me not want to spend my money there. We have so many choices for where we put our time, money, energy. Why not choose the things that make us happy?!
As for children quitting instruments too soon, my daughter quit guitar at 9 because it wasn't the right time. She picked it back up at age 16 and is self directed and loves music.
I say let them develop autonomy and know your kid. Sometimes they need a good coach to push them but may not be the parent. It's important to not allow power struggles and resentment to take root. Just let that go and pray or have faith in them. It's difficult being a parent since we take on all the responsibility for their well being so having to learn how to surrender and not feel like you need to be in control is key.
What a great description of quitting! In our family, we have a saying, "Well, you know what I always say - if something gets hard, quit." It's funny because there are quite a lot of things that we each persevere in, even when they're hard - and it's funny because it really *is important to recognize when it's time to quit! I'm new here to Substack (I used to blog on Wordpress, but I quit, haha) - I look forward to reading more from WeirdoPoetry, and I hope you'll also have time to visit me at Moments. I'll be sharing weekly stories behind my nature photography, capturing moments of connection in nature and everyday life :)
Thank you! We all have to figure out for ourselves where the line between quitting and enduring is. Your Substack sounds like something I would love! I've just subscribed!
So great. This was one of the key messages I took from that amazing Oliver Burkeman book. Life changing mindset shift! I love that you teach it to your kids.
You can't do everything. There's only so much time to go around. There's only so much of yourself to give out. There's no way around robbing Peter to pay Paul. More of one thing means less of something else. Quitting isn't always a failure. It isn't giving up or giving in. It isn't defeat. It's a kind of prioritization. A Curation of first concerns. The pitiliess elmination of what makes it harder for your heart to breathe.
Jason, just chock full of wisdom, thanks a lot. It's amazing to read your words because it crystalizes something that has been floating around in my head for a long time. It's cathartic and I thank you again.
I’m a new reader! I didn’t know you were a lawyer. I’m currently an articling student in Canada. So far I don’t want to quit law entirely but I am learning the value of “little quits.” Such as “I am burnt out, I am going to call it quits for the day” or “I’m going to set boundaries and not take on this file.” Quitting is important for an inspired life (and career)!
Great advice Brian! I've been searching for my lost cat for over three months and each time I call it quits like I get a surge of adrenaline and newfound hope. It's wearing on me though and people think I'm crazy. I can't give up on him yet. I feel he is still alive out there and hiding.
When animals don't have to venture out and make new choices they follow the path of least resistance and stick with security. I wrote a Haiku about this yesterday.
"Security is man's chiefest enemy." Quote from Macbeth
Scared strays hunker down
As indoor outdoor cat struts
Sparkling in night rain
I think that anything done with love is worthwhile as long as it doesn't get too obsessive. Discernment is brought to us through grace. How do we know anything in advance?
When we spend the first part of our lives being taught to ignore our gut instincts we lose the ability to discern what's best for us, and who we really are as well as who others really are.
Why did I always want to be a writer? Why do I keep doing it? Then I started just writing by myself like I did when I was a kid and began enjoying it.
Thanks! Sometimes seeing them struggle because they are so different from the way the system expects them to be makes me second guess everything. But in my gut I know being on the outside of the “factory” givens them the best shot at a life of contentment
Love this! I used to be against quitting, but quitting my dreadful first marriage and feeling like I could breathe again opened my eyes. Quitting my portrait photography biz when I finally admitted my heart wasn't in it took away a load of stress. I convinced my husband to quit his awful job to join me on a long-term travel adventure. He fought it, but now he thanks me every day. Quitting is a great form of self care!
Thanks! It's amazing what we have room to do and try when we quit doing the stuff that's hurting us.
"Jason's work is wonderfully disturbing." Now that's a great compliment!
Right? I kind of want to get it on a t-shirt to wear the next time I'm at an even hawking books.
"The jazz band has a different director than the freshman band, and the jazz band leader is a shouter."
My Lord, get him out of there. Bless him for knowing he doesn't want to deal with that. I just have zero time for that whole Whiplash nonsense. He still plays in the other band and you can encourage him to learn some Louis Armstrong solos and he'll know all the jazz he needs for now. :)
We love to nerd out together watching and listening to trumpet performance clips online, it's so incredible how Louis Armstrong's choices still hold up as revolutionary all these generations later!
It is astonishing. You could basically just cop all his licks and while you wouldn’t be a very modern sounding player, you’d still be hip.
Wise words
Thank you!
Great post here Jason! I resonate with the don't quit mentality and yet if I didn't recognize the "dig my heels in and keep going" I would probably not be here today. Quitting can get a bad reputation. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for reading and sharing! I sometimes wonder if we make the stakes around quitting too big. So often we really can try again if we regret quitting.
Yes! I'm so happy I know this now to teach my children. We can always start again. Restart...
"The only thing worse than quitting something too soon is sticking with something too long." YESSS!!! I've quit many jobs in my lifetime, but not before I suffered at them for months longer than I needed to. For me there's also a tremendous amount of guilt around quitting. I hate to let people down, or leave people in a lurch, but I need to constantly remind myself that part of an employer's job is dealing with people quitting. It's not my job to take on the stress of that piece of things. I'm only required to give adequate notice. End of story!
It's hard with parenting because there are things I absolutely REGRET quitting, like piano lessons. I quit before I got REALLY good, so now I'm just mediocre at something I could have been great at and really enjoyed being great at as an adult. There's a difference between something being challenging and inconvenient (like practicing an instrument) and something being damaging to your health. It's tricky to find the line between them, I think. We just have to do our best with that, I suppose. 🙂
Parenting is tricky because I want my kids to learn that excellence takes time and effort. Learning the difference between discomfort and pain that is damaging is the work of a lifetime. I also regret quitting instruments too soon (trumpet, and violin), but I'm currently having my oldest who is a brilliant piano player teach me to play the one instrument I aways waned to try, but could never convince my parents to let me play.
Quitting ASAP alleviates so much stress in life. Letting go of attachment feels like a relief. A few times I had to get up and walk out of a restaurant before ordering because I got a bad vibe and after doing that I got over caring about how I looked and you know what? I haven't had a bad dining experience since I made it a habit to follow my gut when ordering out.
I've never regretted my gut decisions either, Panama. Our guts are there for a reason - to keep us on the right path. I've absolutely bailed on restaurants, too! And retail stores where the staff was just unpleasant enough to make me not want to spend my money there. We have so many choices for where we put our time, money, energy. Why not choose the things that make us happy?!
As for children quitting instruments too soon, my daughter quit guitar at 9 because it wasn't the right time. She picked it back up at age 16 and is self directed and loves music.
I say let them develop autonomy and know your kid. Sometimes they need a good coach to push them but may not be the parent. It's important to not allow power struggles and resentment to take root. Just let that go and pray or have faith in them. It's difficult being a parent since we take on all the responsibility for their well being so having to learn how to surrender and not feel like you need to be in control is key.
That letting go of attachments is so big and sometimes so hard!
The art of surrender and letting go as parents would make a good meditation for the next Haiku!
Well said. Quiting is great. I've rarely felt as good as I did when I handed in my resignatons (plural).
That truly is the most freeing sensation! Thanks for reading!
There’s such a buzz to a resignation in a job you hate!
What a great description of quitting! In our family, we have a saying, "Well, you know what I always say - if something gets hard, quit." It's funny because there are quite a lot of things that we each persevere in, even when they're hard - and it's funny because it really *is important to recognize when it's time to quit! I'm new here to Substack (I used to blog on Wordpress, but I quit, haha) - I look forward to reading more from WeirdoPoetry, and I hope you'll also have time to visit me at Moments. I'll be sharing weekly stories behind my nature photography, capturing moments of connection in nature and everyday life :)
Thank you! We all have to figure out for ourselves where the line between quitting and enduring is. Your Substack sounds like something I would love! I've just subscribed!
Thanks so much!
Love this post.
Thanks!
So great. This was one of the key messages I took from that amazing Oliver Burkeman book. Life changing mindset shift! I love that you teach it to your kids.
https://www.waterstones.com/book/four-thousand-weeks/oliver-burkeman/9781784704001
Thank you! Yes! 4,000 Weeks has so much wisdom.
You can't do everything. There's only so much time to go around. There's only so much of yourself to give out. There's no way around robbing Peter to pay Paul. More of one thing means less of something else. Quitting isn't always a failure. It isn't giving up or giving in. It isn't defeat. It's a kind of prioritization. A Curation of first concerns. The pitiliess elmination of what makes it harder for your heart to breathe.
Yes! We must allow our hearts room to breathe!
Exactly! Thanks for such a great piece!
Jason, just chock full of wisdom, thanks a lot. It's amazing to read your words because it crystalizes something that has been floating around in my head for a long time. It's cathartic and I thank you again.
Thanks for reading! I love how the community on Substack allows us all to put stuff together in new ways that has been bouncing around in our brains.
I’m a new reader! I didn’t know you were a lawyer. I’m currently an articling student in Canada. So far I don’t want to quit law entirely but I am learning the value of “little quits.” Such as “I am burnt out, I am going to call it quits for the day” or “I’m going to set boundaries and not take on this file.” Quitting is important for an inspired life (and career)!
You are much wiser than I was at that stage! I think resting and "little quits" can help us get through so much.
Great advice Brian! I've been searching for my lost cat for over three months and each time I call it quits like I get a surge of adrenaline and newfound hope. It's wearing on me though and people think I'm crazy. I can't give up on him yet. I feel he is still alive out there and hiding.
When animals don't have to venture out and make new choices they follow the path of least resistance and stick with security. I wrote a Haiku about this yesterday.
"Security is man's chiefest enemy." Quote from Macbeth
Scared strays hunker down
As indoor outdoor cat struts
Sparkling in night rain
I think that anything done with love is worthwhile as long as it doesn't get too obsessive. Discernment is brought to us through grace. How do we know anything in advance?
When we spend the first part of our lives being taught to ignore our gut instincts we lose the ability to discern what's best for us, and who we really are as well as who others really are.
Why did I always want to be a writer? Why do I keep doing it? Then I started just writing by myself like I did when I was a kid and began enjoying it.
Adulthood is just learning to reparent the child inside
Knowing what gives you more life and working hard at that-- Discernment! 👊 What a great skill to help your children learn.
Thanks! Sometimes seeing them struggle because they are so different from the way the system expects them to be makes me second guess everything. But in my gut I know being on the outside of the “factory” givens them the best shot at a life of contentment
Totally agree with you!!! Stay close to whatever makes you glad to be alive!! Quit everything that makes you reluctant to get out of bed...
Great newsletter!!!
Thanks! That's a great way to put it!
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